Traveling alone, I hop on a packed charter bus from Bobo-Dioulasso to Banfora. There are 50 seats plus people sitting in the aisles. This guy opens a bag of chocolates and gives one to everybody on the bus. I take this gesture as a random act of kindness and forget about it until twenty minutes later he gets up again. He starts handing out tiny booklets for everyone to read. I'm assuming at this point he's some sort of a missionary. He starts talking, but I'm not in the mood to convert today, so I just gaze out the window and try to calculate the last digit of Pi.

Later, a few booklets eventually make it back to me, and I read the title- something about the marvels of urotherapy. Not sure what that is, so I open to the table of contents and skim through. So this is a booklet about the healing properties of urine? Looking at everyone's faces, they're all taking it seriously. It explains that since urine is actually blood filtered through the kidneys, it's the purest kind of liquid. It can be ingested or applied to the skin to clean out toxins. By passing through the digestive tract, urine gains valuable nutrients, such as vitamins and neurotransmitters. It says if you coat your skin in urine, you will sweat less. The taste is like vegetable broth with the fresh scent of hay. At this point I've been staring at this booklet for a long time, like a kindergartener taking more than five Mississippis at the water fountain. So I pass it back to other passengers.

The next stage of the pitch: The man unveils a bingo dotter filled with a green liquid. He had apparently dyed the urine green and added a minty fragrance to it. Bingo dotter in hand, the man walks row to row, asking each person if he can rub the scented green urine on the back of their necks. People are giggling and looking at each other, but I watch as most everybody complies. After making his rounds, he sells boxfuls of this scented green urine in clear plastic baggies to about half the bus. It's all about presentation, I suppose.

It reminds me of the guy in Tommy Boy who could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves. But I think selling people your own urine is even more impressive.