Friday, May 27, 2011
Memoirs of a Village Bride
Written by
Tana
It's your wedding day. You've waited sixteen long years for this day. Your family has been watching you twenty-four hours a day for the past week to make sure you don't run off with your ex-lover. But you've waited this long and you're ready to surrender your independence to a strapping older man who is also your first cousin. You spend hours getting ready, meanwhile all of the women in your extended family are buzzing around preparing mammoth proportions of rice for the hundreds of guests.
When you step out of your mudbrick hut, you see that half of your guests are dressed in the same fabric as your bridesmaids. People that you don't even know show up, and kids from all over the area are there for the free meal. They spend the whole time blowing on noisemakers and climbing on the walls. Let's not forget that all three town drunks have shown up for the locally brewed beer. Your hired entertainment (the town crier) is harassing your guests for money with his megaphone.
The hot dance of the moment is a slow shuffling in a circle while shaking your booty. When you do this dance, make sure your booty oscillates four times the rate of your feet. All the single ladies over forty try to catch the eyes of musicians as they inch past them.
After all that dancing, you're hungry.
Sometimes, your wedding band will strike up an African instrumental remix of "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands."
When you step out of your mudbrick hut, you see that half of your guests are dressed in the same fabric as your bridesmaids. People that you don't even know show up, and kids from all over the area are there for the free meal. They spend the whole time blowing on noisemakers and climbing on the walls. Let's not forget that all three town drunks have shown up for the locally brewed beer. Your hired entertainment (the town crier) is harassing your guests for money with his megaphone.
No, this is not a nightmare. It's exactly the way you always pictured your big day if you're from a small village in southwest Burkina Faso. After the civil ceremony at town hall, it's time to see what your new husband can offer you and your family. Bring on the parade of overflowing baskets of grains, peanuts, and corn floating atop the heads of all of the women in your family. The husband also offers a range of casserole dishes nested like Russian dolls. The bigger, the better.
Then it's time to dance the day and night and next morning away.
Then it's time to dance the day and night and next morning away.
The hot dance of the moment is a slow shuffling in a circle while shaking your booty. When you do this dance, make sure your booty oscillates four times the rate of your feet. All the single ladies over forty try to catch the eyes of musicians as they inch past them.
After all that dancing, you're hungry.
But not all the food you receive is supposed to be eaten. The highlight of the night is when your cousins pour palm oil and sesame seeds all over your unclothed upper-half. Upon hearing about this matrimonial tradition, that odd American couple in the next courtyard, Chard and Tene, flee the party and hide in their house. The party will now shift for the third time today to another courtyard to enjoy the wedding band.
Sometimes, your wedding band will strike up an African instrumental remix of "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands."
After two days, the party draws to close. As a bride in a cowboy hat, you will no doubt be charioted around the village on a moped and then off into the sunset.
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1 comments:
what an interesting mix of ancient traditions and modern western ones. That's some great party music. Her dress is beautiful, I wonder wear she got it, it doesn't look african. That groom must be toastin in his suit.
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